My father's middle name is Harry.
Wait, back up, that joke works way better verbally, and usually there's a lead-up about body hair, and 'Harry' and 'hairy' sound the same... I'll just start over.
My father looks like Santa Claus. White hair, full beard, glasses, slightly stocky build- maybe a little skinny for Santa but it's enough that kids give him long looks around the holidays. Growing up, I never, ever saw my father shirtless, unless I caught him changing clothes or something. He wore t-shirts under his button-downs. I guess I just thought he was modest, which fits with his quiet, introverted personality.
Then one day my mother told me he's embarrassed to be seen shirtless, because he's so hairy. I can remember a few glimpses of my dad shirtless over the years. He's covered in curly, thick, grey-white hair. He's fuzzy with it.
If he were a gay man, he'd be a bear. This is not a criticism!
We do not get to pick and choose the genetics we inherit, and we are a physical equation heavily based on what we get from our parents. Transmen are always warned, when starting testosterone, that we can't pick and choose which masculine traits we'll inherit. Male pattern baldness is the big one a lot of guys look out for. My mother's father was starting to thin on top, but still had most of his hair when he passed in his eighties. My dad's hirsutism extends to his head, so I've never been especially worried about my genetics on that front. I have been losing some hair, but I recently realized my mild hair loss has been the squaring up of my hairline, a fascinating but common change after a while on T, and one that helps make me look more like a man.
Everywhere else, the hair is growing. They talk about a 'treasure trail', and I don't have that, because instead my hair is thicker from chest all down my stomach, a uniform downy carpet. It's not curly, like my dad's, but there's a hell of a lot more than there was a year ago. Hair is thicker on my arms, and creeping up the backs of my hands. My nose hairs- which were perfectly serviceable before, are not so much thicker as longer and I can't see the evolutionary point in that.
And then there's my back. Which is not hairy. Or rather, it's very selectively hairy. For weeks, I kept having a specific spot on my back that itched. Then one night my wife pointed out, as we were getting ready for bed, a single dark long back hair that conveniently sprouted where the band of my bra rubs against it daily. It took about six months before two more showed up, also conveniently in spots where they're irritated all day. And that's still where I'm at, a few months later. Fur all down the front of my body, and three random back hairs.
My beard is filling in well though, it's curly like my dad's but not grey yet, even though a fair amount of the hair on my head is. I don't know that I will ever look like my father- the genetics from my mother's side may help balance things out and her dad was pretty sparse on body hair, but if I do end up being a bear, I'm okay with that.
I think my dad should be okay with it, too. It's not a bad look! Besides, his middle name really is Harry. That's a dad joke for you, anyway. I've inherited that, too.
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| My dad, or possibly Santa |
