Birthday thoughts

I'm turning forty next week. I've heard (and it's true) that a lot of the markers for being a successful adult have been culturally erased, or at least put out of reach for the majority. On the other hand, as this birthday closes in I stopped to assess. I'm happily married, with a stable relationship that has covered nearly half my life. I have a steady job that could probably be classified as a career- and I'm salaried now, at that. Two years ago, my big birthday gift was starting testosterone, and I cannot overstate the change this has made in my life. For the first time in my entire life, the face in the mirror is mine. (This has even nearly abolished my mirror phobia.) I shave. The guy I see in the mirror now looks good even rumpled and unshaven, and for all the little idiosyncrasies of hair in unexpected places, having a beard is awesome!

At this moment, Maxie would like to remind me I also have a very loving cat.

I haven't been as productive creatively as I'd like, but what else is new. On the other hand the stuff I've been creating the past couple of years is exciting and I've been consistently satisfied with the results. Prop making scratches an itch I didn't know I had. My drawing, too, has reached a level where what I turn out is pretty cool, even if it's mostly sketches these days.

My car is possibly in its final days, and the house we're in has structural problems that could go bad in the future, and the government is a ship of fools being sunk by a schoolyard bully at the helm. And yet I am finally who I'm supposed to be and where I'm supposed to be. My wife has a good job, and huge personal success as a runner. I don't think I could be this content if she wasn't, too. There are a lot of problems in the world, but we're as successful as we can be.